In my experience the simple answer is no. But should every relationship always be equitable?

I believe every person has the right to be seen and heard in the language appropriate to them, with every voice and person of whatever age, ability or background, being able to contribute their thoughts, ideas fairly and equally with those they are in relationship with.

I also know that not everyone is treated equally. Not every voice is heard or valued. Some people aren’t listened to, or their opinions or views aren’t accepted because of a label they’ve been given, or a perception of what they are or aren’t capable of.

As a society we so easily put people in boxes and then continue to communicate or interact with people assuming something that a particular label or box perceives. We make so much up about what others are capable of.

The recent conversations and viral video created by Coordown for Down’s syndrome awareness week that aim to end stereotypes and make people think “Assume that I can, and maybe I will” have been powerful. For so much of Jen’s life we’ve been faced with people assuming that she, or we, can’t.

The positive spin of what’s possible has always been our ethos especially as we’ve no idea what each of us is capable of unless we try or explore. No child comes with a handbook, so we’ve taken one step at a time always listening to Jen and Anthony, and each other as parents, and hopefully allowed each of us to be heard as equals.

In this first part of a conversation with the wonderful Jim Thomas, with his huge wealth of experience from his time at Skills for Care, always leading and innovating and as he says himself, the inability to think in a straight line, we touch on this important aspect that everybody has something to offer. We may not know what, but we can offer opportunities and listen to each individual and allow them to explore life in a way that suits them.

Watch here, or click the image above: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urCWc6tyjW0

If we start with the desire to have an equitable relationship with our children, partners, work colleagues, care and support workers with each party being valued and listened to as an equal partner, surely a foundation of trust will benefit all?

I look forward to continuing this conversation with you. What are your thoughts about equity in relationships, particularly for people with learning disabilties?

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Other parts of our conversation: https://blackwells.biz/working-together/ and https://blackwells.biz/changing-lives-one-person-at-a-time/